Zosia is two years and three months old. She has her dummy in her mouth when she falls asleep, in the car, in the queue at the shop and every time she trips over. In the morning she reaches for it in her cot before she even opens her eyes. Her grandmother says it is “high time”, a friend from the playground says her son gave his up in a single evening, and Zosia’s parents are afraid that taking it away will mean a week of sleepless nights. They are not even sure whether they need to hurry.
If you are in a similar place, this article brings together what organisations of paediatric dentists, paediatricians and speech therapists say about dummies (pacifiers, in American English), shows where their advice differs, and describes two ways of weaning a child off the dummy: gradually or all at once. At the end you will find answers to the questions parents ask most often.
When should a child stop using a dummy? What the guidance says
There is no single date that everyone agrees on. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD), in its 2024 policy, encourages ending non-nutritive sucking habits by 36 months of age, and to reduce the risk of a crossbite it cites a recommendation to limit the dummy when the canine teeth come through, at around 18 months. Speech therapists in the British National Health Service aim earlier: the NHS Lothian speech and language therapy team advises trying to stop using a dummy by the time a baby is 10–12 months old.
These differences come from what each group of specialists is looking at. Dentists look mainly at the bite, which according to the AAPD depends more on how long a child uses a dummy than on how often. Speech therapists look at how many chances a child has to babble and practise sounds during the day. Paediatricians at the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) explain that sucking which continues beyond 2–4 years of age may affect the shape of the mouth and how the teeth line up. The practical conclusion for a parent: the sooner the dummy goes back to being for sleep only, the better, and the third birthday is the line by which most sources advise finishing the job.
The guidance in one table
| Source | What it recommends | What it focuses on |
|---|---|---|
| NHS Lothian, speech therapy | Try to stop by 10–12 months; as the baby grows, sleep times only | Fewer chances to babble, possible dental and speech sound problems |
| Leeds Teaching Hospitals NHS Trust | Stop giving a dummy between 6 and 12 months | Long-term use can affect tooth development and sound-making |
| AAPD, 2024 policy | Limit when canines emerge (about 18 months), stop by 36 months | Anterior open bite, posterior crossbite, middle ear infection |
| AAP (HealthyChildren) | Sucking beyond 2–4 years may affect the teeth | The bite often corrects itself if the habit stops before the adult teeth |
| ADA (MouthHealthy) | Children usually stop sucking between 2 and 4 years | Dummies affect teeth in much the same way as thumb-sucking |
The table shows how wide the range is: from the first birthday to the third. You do not need to feel guilty if your two-year-old still falls asleep with a dummy. It is worth having a plan, though, before the third birthday arrives.
Why the dummy is so soothing
For a baby, sucking is a reflex. The AAPD describes how non-nutritive sucking gives a child a sense of security and allows them to soothe themselves, and how a dummy may go on providing comfort into the toddler years. That is why it is so hard to take away: for a two-year-old a dummy is not an object but a way of coping with tiredness, frustration and boredom.
Dummies also have benefits worth remembering before you go to war with them. The AAPD lists among them soothing babies and a lower incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) when a dummy is offered at sleep time. The NHS page on reducing the risk of SIDS says that some research suggests this can help. So a sensible goal is not to throw the dummy away as early as possible, but to replace it gradually with other ways of calming down before it starts doing harm.
The ADA notes that children usually find it easier to give up a dummy than to stop sucking their thumb. The AAPD adds that forced early cessation of dummy use has been associated with prolonged finger-sucking. That is an argument for a gentle pace.
How does a dummy affect teeth and the bite?
Most of the evidence concerns the bite. The AAPD’s 2024 policy states that children who used a dummy for 36 months or longer had a significantly higher incidence of anterior open bite — a bite in which the upper and lower front teeth do not meet when the mouth is closed. The same document says that an open bite linked to dummy use improves if the dummy is given up before the age of three.
The second problem is a posterior crossbite, in which the upper back teeth sit inside the lower ones. The AAPD links it to increased dummy use and cites a recommendation to limit the dummy when the canines emerge, at around 18 months. In its policy statement the AAPD says that dummy use beyond 18 months can influence the developing structures of the mouth and face.
The AAP, on its HealthyChildren site, offers some reassurance: if the sucking habit stops before the permanent front teeth come in, there is a good chance the bite will correct itself. If it does not, and the upper adult teeth stick out, orthodontic treatment may be needed. The ADA adds that a dummy affects the teeth in much the same way as sucking a thumb.
The AAPD also encourages parents to establish a dental home — a regular dentist for the child — by 12 months of age, partly so that stopping the dummy can be discussed before it becomes a problem.
Does a dummy delay speech?
Many parents ask this, and the answer is less clear-cut than online forums suggest. The AAPD’s 2024 policy says that the evidence linking dummy use to speech problems or speech delay is limited. It cites research suggesting that prolonged daily use lasting several hours may be connected with atypical speech errors, but that a strong speech-related case against dummies is not evident.
Speech therapists take a more practical view. The NHS Lothian speech and language therapy team points out that babies who use dummies have fewer chances to babble, and that extended use may contribute to dental and speech sound problems. Their advice is simple: always take the dummy out when your child is babbling or chatting. Materials from the Leeds hospitals also say that long-term dummy use can limit a growing baby’s sound-making.
So the most sensible way to see the daytime dummy is as an obstacle to conversation rather than a cause of speech delay. A two-year-old with a dummy in their mouth for most of the day simply talks less, because it is hard to talk with a blocked mouth. If you are worried about your child’s speech, you can read more about milestones and warning signs in the article on speech development in a 2-year-old.
Dummies and ear infections
This link is less well known but well documented. The AAPD states that dummy use is a risk factor for middle ear infections (otitis media) in babies and children, and that the incidence of acute otitis media may be reduced by cutting down or stopping dummy use in the second half of the first year. In its policy statement the same document says that dummy use after 12 months of age can increase the risk of acute middle ear infection.
If your child often has ear infections, it is worth asking your paediatrician whether limiting the dummy makes sense in your case. That does not mean the dummy causes every infection — it is one of the factors a parent can genuinely influence.
How can you tell it is a good time to give up the dummy?
A good time is one in which nothing big is happening in the child’s life. Giving up the dummy asks a child to find a new way of calming down, and that is easier in a quiet period. Bad times include the birth of a sibling, a house move, illness, starting nursery or preschool, and the first weeks of settling in, when the child is already losing several familiar anchors at once.
Signs that your child may be ready:
- they put the dummy down themselves while playing and do not look for it for a long time,
- they sometimes fall asleep without it, for example in the car or the pushchair,
- they understand simple agreements such as “the dummy sleeps in the cot while we play”,
- they can calm down in other ways — with a soft toy, a cuddle, a blanket or a song.
If your child is over two, it is worth talking to them about the plan. Two- and three-year-olds understand far more than they can say, and cope better with a change that has been announced than with one that comes out of nowhere.
The gradual approach, step by step
Gradual weaning is the approach recommended by the NHS Lothian speech therapists: gradually reduce the times when your child is allowed the dummy and restrict it to key times, such as bedtime or illness. In practice it might look like this:
- Dummy at home only. It stays at home when you go for a walk, to the shop or to the grandparents’.
- Dummy in bed only. During the day it “sleeps” in the cot or in a box by the bed. Your child knows where it is but only gets it when falling asleep.
- Dummy for falling asleep only. Once your child is asleep, you take it out of their mouth. In the morning it stays in bed.
- Dummy at night only. Daytime naps happen without it, with a soft toy or a book.
- Goodbye. Finally comes the last evening and a farewell ritual, described further on.
Each stage might last a week or two — the pace depends on the child. If one step proves very hard, there is nothing wrong with staying on it longer. Replacing the dummy with another source of comfort matters as much as taking it away: a bedtime routine with a book and a cuddle, a blanket or soft toy that keeps your child company as they fall asleep. For ideas on a calm evening, see the article on 3-year-old sleep.
Stopping all at once
Some families prefer one clear moment: the dummy goes and does not come back. This approach can work for children who only use the dummy for sleep and understand what is coming. The AAPD describes how stopping the habit can happen either on the child’s own initiative or with a caregiver’s help, and says that positive reward, such as recognising each day without the dummy, is preferable to criticism or restraint.
If you choose this route, a few things make it easier:
- announce the day a few days in advance and come back to it several times,
- choose a calm week with no trips or big changes,
- expect two or three hard nights and plan them so nobody has to get up early the next morning,
- get rid of every dummy at home, in the car and at the grandparents’, so there is no temptation to go back,
- be consistent — giving the dummy back after two tearful evenings teaches your child that crying works.
Neither method is right for everyone. The gradual approach usually means fewer tears at once, while stopping all at once means a shorter period of uncertainty. Choose the one your family can carry through consistently.
Rituals for saying goodbye to the dummy
For two- and three-year-olds, a parting is easier to understand when it has its own moment and its own story. The NHS Lothian speech therapists suggest several ideas:
- giving the dummies to someone important — the child hands them over to a person they love,
- a letter to Father Christmas or the tooth fairy — the dummy goes to someone who will “pass it on to little babies”,
- swapping it for a present — a new soft toy, a toy or a toothbrush of their own,
- throwing it away together — by agreement, the child drops the dummy into the bin,
- older children as role models — pointing out older girls and boys who no longer use dummies,
- rewards for dummy-free days — a fun outing, stickers or a star chart.
Some families make up their own stories: a “dummy fairy” who swaps the dummy for a book overnight, or passing the dummy on to a newborn in the family. Any of them works if the child takes an active part: packing the dummies, handing them over, choosing the present. Then giving up the dummy is their decision, not something done to them.
What to avoid
Paediatricians and dentists agree here. The AAP’s HealthyChildren site says that harsh words, teasing or punishment may upset a child and are not an effective way to get rid of habits, and that putting too much pressure on a child to stop may cause more harm than good. The AAPD recommends positive reinforcement rather than criticism and restraint, because the latter lead to power struggles that can prolong the habit.
So, what not to do:
- shame your child in front of others, call them a “baby” or compare them with siblings,
- coat the dummy in something bitter or spicy without talking to a dentist or paediatrician first,
- dip the dummy in honey or sugar to make it more appealing in hard moments — the AAPD cites a warning from the US Food and Drug Administration against honey-filled or honey-dipped dummies, because honey can contain spores of the bacterium that causes botulism,
- cut the dummy and give it back to your child — a damaged dummy can break apart; the AAP advises inspecting dummies regularly and replacing any that are discoloured or torn,
- tie the dummy on a cord around your child’s neck or hand — the AAP says never to do this,
- wean during a big change in your child’s life.
If your three-year-old gets angry and protests, that is normal. Resisting change is part of daily life at this age, and how you respond matters more than the protest itself. For more on how to talk to your child in moments like these, see the article on the terrible twos.
The dummy at nursery and preschool
Many children start nursery (in Poland, żłobek, for children up to three) still using a dummy, and that is not a problem. The first weeks in a new place are a big change, and a dummy at nap time may be one of the few familiar anchors. That is why it is usually better to postpone weaning until after the settling-in period. The nursery adaptation guide describes how that period tends to go.
When you decide to give up the dummy, let the carers know. Rules at home and in the group should match: if at home the dummy is now only for sleep, it helps if the same applies at nursery. Ask how the carers help children fall asleep without a dummy and whether you can bring a soft toy to replace it at nap time.
Nursery and preschool can genuinely help. Children watch one another, and some are more willing to give up the dummy when they see that older friends do not use one — the same mechanism the NHS Lothian speech therapists suggest using at home. On top of that, a day in a group is full of activities, conversation and movement, and a child who is busy playing looks for the dummy less often.
When to talk to a dentist or speech therapist
Most families manage weaning off the dummy on their own. There are, however, situations worth discussing with a specialist. The AAP advises talking to your paediatrician or paediatric dentist if you notice changes in the roof of the mouth or in how the teeth are lining up. It is also worth seeing a dentist if your child is turning three and still uses the dummy for a large part of the day — the AAPD reports that the risk of open bite rises significantly after 36 months.
A speech therapist can help if your child says little for their age, speaks unclearly, or if you feel the dummy is limiting their everyday communication. The ADA points out that a dentist can also help the child directly — explaining what is happening to their teeth and encouraging them to stop. Sometimes a word from an unfamiliar adult in a white coat works better than a parent’s tenth request.
FAQ — parents’ questions about giving up the dummy
Until what age can a child use a dummy? The guidance varies. The NHS Lothian speech therapists advise trying to stop by 10–12 months, while the AAPD recommends limiting the dummy at around 18 months and ending the habit by 36 months. Most sources treat the third birthday as a line worth not crossing.
Does a dummy damage teeth? A dummy mainly affects the bite rather than causing decay. The AAPD reports that using one for 36 months or longer is linked to a higher incidence of open bite, which usually improves if the dummy is given up before the age of three.
Does a dummy delay speech? The AAPD considers the evidence for this link limited. The NHS Lothian speech therapists point out, however, that a child with a dummy in their mouth babbles and talks less, so they advise taking it out whenever the child is trying to say something.
Is it better to stop gradually or all at once? Both are possible. Gradual reduction, recommended by the NHS Lothian speech therapists, usually means fewer tears at once. Stopping all at once works for children who only use the dummy for sleep and understand what is coming.
How long does weaning off the dummy take? There is no data that could honestly be quoted. With the gradual approach each stage usually lasts a week or two, and with stopping all at once parents most often describe a few harder evenings.
What should I do if my child cries at night without the dummy? Comfort them briefly and calmly, offer a soft toy or a cuddle, and do not give the dummy back. The AAP advises praising your child for days and nights without the dummy and avoiding punishment and pressure, which do not help break the habit.
Final thoughts
A dummy (smoczek in Polish) helps young children calm down, and there is no reason to snatch it from a two-year-old overnight. It is worth knowing what specialists say, though: speech therapists advise cutting it down towards the end of the first year, dentists advise ending the habit by the third birthday. What works best is a plan your child understands, a calm moment, consistency and plenty of praise instead of shaming.
Zosia’s parents chose the gradual route. First the dummy stayed at home, then in the cot, and after a few weeks Zosia packed it into an envelope herself for “the little babies who still need it”. The first two evenings were hard; the third was not.
If you are wondering what a day looks like for the youngest children in a nursery group, see the page on the nursery.