Tony is four and talks from the moment he wakes up: what he dreamt about, what he built with blocks yesterday, why his dog is the fastest in the world. He unzips his jacket by himself, pours his own water from a jug, and in play he is a firefighter one minute, a doctor the next and a dinosaur after that. When a younger girl cries in the cloakroom, he goes over and hands her his cuddly toy. His parents wonder whether this is a typical four-year-old, or whether he should already be able to count to twenty and write his name.
The fifth year of life is when a child starts telling stories rather than just talking, plays at roles rather than just with objects, and understands other people better and better. This article brings together a four-year-old’s skills according to the developmental milestones list from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and explains how to read that list so that it does not turn into a test to be passed.
What should a 4-year-old be able to do?
Most children aged four speak in sentences of four or more words, talk about what happened during the day, name a few colours and can say what comes next in a familiar story. They catch a large ball, undo some buttons, hold a crayon between fingers and thumb and, with supervision, serve themselves food and pour water. They pretend in play, ask other children to play of their own accord, comfort someone who is crying and like to help. That is how the 2022 CDC list describes a four-year-old.
The list describes what about 75% of children do at a given age, not a minimum below which a problem begins. Some healthy children reach certain skills later. That is why, alongside the list for four years, it is worth knowing the list for five — it shows where development will be heading over the coming year. The previous stage is described in the article on what a 3-year-old should be able to do, and the next one in the article on what a 5-year-old should be able to do.
A four-year-old’s skills in one table
| Area | By 4 years | By 5 years |
|---|---|---|
| Speech | Sentences of four or more words, talks about their day, repeats words from songs and rhymes, answers simple questions | Tells a story with at least two events, keeps a conversation going for more than three exchanges, recognises simple rhymes |
| Movement and hands | Catches a large ball, undoes some buttons, holds a crayon between fingers and thumb, serves food and pours water with supervision | Fastens some buttons, hops on one foot |
| Thinking and play | Names a few colours, says what comes next in a familiar story, draws a person with three or more body parts | Counts to 10, names some numbers from 1 to 5, writes some letters of their name, focuses on an activity for 5–10 minutes |
| Emotions and relationships | Pretends in play, asks others to play, comforts others, likes to help, avoids danger, changes behaviour depending on the place | Follows rules and takes turns in games, sings and dances for others, does simple household chores |
It is worth reading the table across the rows. A four-year-old who is already closer to the right-hand column in speech and closer to the left in movement is simply developing unevenly — just like most children of this age.
Movement and hands — a ball, buttons and holding a crayon
By their fourth birthday most children catch a large ball, undo some buttons and hold a crayon between fingers and thumb rather than in a clenched fist. The CDC also lists serving themselves food and pouring water — under adult supervision. These skills make up fine motor skill, the precision of the hands and fingers — and at this age fine motor skill is the foundation of later writing. Holding a crayon with three fingers is particularly important, because in a year or two it will grow into the writing grip. A child who does plenty of drawing, cutting, threading and pouring is preparing their hand for writing without any pattern-tracing in an exercise book.
Over the following year they add fastening buttons, not just undoing them, and hopping on one foot. Fastening is harder, because it requires coordinating both hands at once and a good sense of touch in the fingers. In Montessori education this is what dressing frames are for: wooden frames with two pieces of fabric joined by buttons, press studs or laces, on which a child practises one movement for as long as they like. More about such materials can be found in the article on Montessori materials.
A four-year-old’s gross motor skills are increasingly bold: they run, change direction, climb higher and try riding a balance bike or a bike with stabilisers. Everyday free play outdoors develops them best — a playground, a park, a forest — rather than structured classes alone. The adult’s role is to provide a safe place and time, not to spot every single step. A four-year-old who climbs up a climbing frame and back down by themselves is learning not only movement but also how to judge risk.
Speech — sentences, storytelling and questions
A four-year-old’s speech is no longer just naming and asking, but storytelling. According to the CDC, most children at this age speak in sentences made up of four or more words, repeat some words from songs, stories and rhymes, talk about at least one thing that happened during the day, and answer simple questions such as “what is a coat for?” or “what is a crayon for?”.
Talking about the day is key here. A four-year-old asked in the evening “what did you do at preschool?” will not always answer straight away — but asked something specific, such as “who did you build with today?” or “what was for lunch?”, they will usually tell you. A parent who listens attentively and asks follow-up questions, instead of correcting every word, does more for the child’s speech than any flashcard exercises.
At this age many children still mix up some sounds, especially those that are difficult in Polish pronunciation, such as “r”, “sz”, “cz” or “rz”. Occasional difficulties with pronunciation are typical in a four-year-old. It is worth seeing a doctor and a speech therapist when a child says very little, when strangers can hardly understand them or when a parent has any concerns at all. More about speech and warning signs can be found in the article on toddler speech development.
Thinking and play — colours, stories and drawing a person
According to the CDC, by four years a child names a few colours, can say what comes next in a well-known story and draws a person with three or more body parts — usually a “tadpole person”, that is, a head with legs, sometimes with arms growing out of the head. This is an entirely typical stage of drawing, not a mistake to be corrected.
Pretend play develops: a four-year-old is a cook, a doctor, a mum, a dog or a superhero, and can stay in the role for quite a while. Such play exercises speech, imagination and the understanding that other people think and feel differently from them.
In Montessori education a four-year-old works with sensorial materials that organise what they learn through the senses: size, colour, shape, texture and sound. On this foundation the first mathematical and language materials appear, for example sandpaper letters, which the child traces with a finger while saying the sound. What such work looks like in a preschool group is described in the article what is a Montessori preschool.
Emotions and relationships — helping, comforting and rules
The CDC list for four years contains more social skills than the one for three. Most four-year-olds pretend in play to be someone else, ask other children to play together of their own accord, comfort others when they are sad or hurt, avoid danger (for example, they do not jump from a great height in the playground), like being a “helper” and change their behaviour depending on the place — behaving differently in a library than in a playground.
By five years they add following rules and taking turns in games with other children. A four-year-old is only just learning this, so losing a board game or waiting for the swing can still end in tears. Naming emotions helps (“you are angry because you had to wait”), as do clear, short rules and an adult who stays close instead of shaming the child.
A four-year-old can also be stubborn and likes to test limits. This is not spite but a growing need to make decisions about themselves. It works well to leave them real choices in small matters — which cup, which way to walk to preschool — and to hold calmly to the limits in important ones. Why punishments and rewards work only briefly is discussed in the article on punishments and rewards in Montessori.
Independence — what a four-year-old can do alone
A four-year-old can do much more alone than they are usually allowed to. At home and in a Montessori preschool they can:
- dress and undress, with help with trickier fastenings,
- wash their hands, brush their teeth and use the toilet, with an adult checking at the end,
- lay the table, serve themselves food and pour water from a small jug,
- clear up after a meal and wipe up spilt water,
- cut fruit and vegetables with a safe knife,
- water plants and help with the laundry, for example by matching socks into pairs,
- put toys and materials back in their fixed place.
In Montessori education such activities are called practical life and treated as fully fledged learning: they develop concentration, movement coordination and a sense of agency. The key is an environment prepared to the child’s scale — low shelves, a small jug, a hook at the height of their hand — and an adult who demonstrates slowly and then lets the child get on with it, even if the result is less than perfect. Specific exercises are collected in the article on Montessori exercises at home.
How high can a 4-year-old count?
The CDC milestones list for four years contains no counting norm. Counting to ten only appears on the list for five years. So there is no single number a four-year-old “should” count to. Many four-year-olds recite numbers in order, sometimes up to ten or beyond, but reciting is not the same as understanding that five blocks are more than three.
A better test than asking “how high can you count?” is an everyday situation: can the child put four plates on the table for four people, or bring three apples when you ask? In a Montessori classroom counting starts with the concrete — with objects that can be touched, moved and laid out in a row — and numerals come later. A parent can do the same at home: count stairs, spoons and the buttons on a jacket rather than practising a counting rhyme without objects.
Does a four-year-old have to do everything on the list?
No. The CDC list describes what roughly three quarters of children do at a given age, so by definition one in four healthy children does not yet have one of these skills. A single missing item alongside good development in the other areas usually means a different pace. What matters more than ticking off the list is whether the child is making progress from month to month.
It is worth talking to a doctor when a four-year-old has not reached several skills on the list, loses skills they already had, or a parent has any other concerns — that is the CDC’s advice. In Poland a good opportunity is the four-year-old health check-up at the paediatrician. Before the visit it helps to note specific observations: what the child does, what they do not do, what worries you — and, if the child attends preschool, to ask the teacher what she sees in the group as well.
Comparing your child with peers rarely helps. A better point of reference is your own child half a year ago: are they doing more today than they were then?
Does a 4-year-old have to go to preschool?
No. Under Polish education law, children aged 3–5 have the right to preschool education, and only one year of preschool preparation is compulsory, in the year in which the child turns six. A four-year-old can therefore stay at home with a parent, a grandparent or a nanny, and the decision belongs to the family.
Many parents nevertheless choose preschool at precisely this age, because a four-year-old needs more and more contact with other children: role play, shared rules, waiting for their turn. When looking for a setting, it is worth asking about the number of children in the group, the daily rhythm, time spent outdoors and how much independence children have day to day. What to look out for when choosing is described in the article how to choose a preschool.
A four-year-old in a mixed-age group
In a Montessori preschool children from about three to six years old are in one mixed-age group. A four-year-old is one of the “middle” children in it: they already have a year of settling in behind them, know the daily rhythm and the rules of the classroom, and at the same time are still learning from older children. It is a good moment, because for the first time they also begin to help younger ones — showing a new three-year-old where the aprons hang or how to take a tray back to the shelf.
This dual role strengthens exactly the skills that the CDC list names for four years: helping, comforting and playing with others. A child who shows something to someone else also consolidates their own knowledge. More about how such a group works can be found in the article on mixed-age groups in Montessori.
The teacher in such a group observes each child and offers them materials suited to their stage, not to their year of birth. A four-year-old who is interested in letters is given letters; a four-year-old who still most enjoys pouring and transferring is given time for practical life.
FAQ — questions from parents of four-year-olds
Should a 4-year-old know letters? They do not have to. The CDC list for four years does not mention knowing letters; naming some letters and writing a few letters of their own name appear on the list for five years. If a four-year-old is interested in letters of their own accord, it is worth going along with it, but without pressure.
Should a 4-year-old know colours? Yes, they usually know a few. According to the CDC, by four years most children name a few colours. Mistakes with less common shades, such as purple or beige, are normal at this age.
Should a four-year-old dress themselves? Largely, yes. According to the CDC, a four-year-old undoes some buttons, while fastening buttons appears on the list for five years. A four-year-old usually puts on trousers, a sweatshirt and Velcro shoes by themselves, but still needs help with buttons, zips and laces.
How many words should a 4-year-old say? The CDC list does not give a number of words for four years. It describes what a four-year-old does with speech: speaks in sentences of four or more words, talks about their day and answers simple questions. If they say very little, it is worth talking to a doctor and a speech therapist.
Is it normal for a four-year-old to be a bad loser? Yes. Following rules and taking turns in games appear on the CDC list for five years, so a four-year-old is only just learning this. Calmly naming the emotion helps, as do short, simple games in which losing is over quickly.
Should a four-year-old draw a person? According to the CDC, by four years most children draw a person with three or more body parts. The so-called tadpole person — a head with legs — is a typical stage of drawing at this age.
In closing
A four-year-old tells stories, pretends, helps and understands others better and better. The list of skills helps you see whether development is heading in the right direction, but it cannot replace attentive watching of your own child. What helps them most is time, room for independence, adults who listen to their stories to the end, and children of different ages from whom they can learn and whom they can help.
If you would like to see what a day looks like for four-year-olds in a mixed-age group, take a look at the Montessori preschool page.