Article written for Dzieckologia.pl. Katarzyna Lis, a Montessori teacher, wrote a long-form piece on early potty training for the parenting education project Dzieckologia.pl. Below is a short summary of the key threads — the full version, with the complete argument and a step-by-step practical description, is available on Dzieckologia.pl.
The disposable diaper is a 1960s invention — not a developmental stage
Homo sapiens has existed on this planet for around 300,000 years. The disposable diaper as we know it today became widespread in the late 1970s. For thousands of years children learned bladder control before their first birthday — in villages of sub-Saharan Africa, among indigenous peoples of the Americas, in Inuit communities. In Western literature the practice even has a name: Elimination Communication.
In the span of one generation, the time spent in diapers stretched to two and a half years — sometimes longer. In her article, Katarzyna Lis asks one simple question: has the human urinary and nervous system really changed that much in forty years? The answer is no. What changed is the market — which earns more the longer it keeps its customers.
What we see in the nursery — signals we try not to miss
In our daily work we observe exactly what Katarzyna Lis describes in the article: from the very first months of life, a child already communicates the moment of elimination. The focused expression, the characteristic body tension, the quiet murmur. These are the signals a mother in a village reads without a neurodevelopment course. We — adults in the 21st century — have learned to stop seeing them, because „the diaper takes care of it.”
The list of „readiness for toilet training” criteria circulating on parenting blogs (independently pulling down pants, walking steadily, verbal signalling) excludes children with motor disabilities, blind children, children on the autism spectrum. And yet every one of those children can — and should — use a potty. Which shows that the „readiness” checklist describes adult convenience, not child development.
What can be done — in a single paragraph
Observation in the first months. Sitting the child on the potty in response to a signal (not „every two hours”) — ideally from around the ninth month, when the child is already crawling, feet flat on the floor, back straight. Repetition and calm — no clapping, no anger when it doesn’t work. The diaper goes away gradually: first during the day at home, then on short outings; the nighttime diaper stays longer. „Accidents” are treated as information, not failure.
This is not training. This is an invitation for the child to be in contact with their own body.
Isn’t this too early? — the questions we hear most often
When early potty training comes up in conversation with parents of infants, the first reaction is usually worry. That’s understandable — the entire surrounding culture, from diaper advertising to most parenting guides, says one thing in unison: „wait until the child is ready, roughly after the second birthday.” It’s worth breaking that general worry down into concrete questions, because underneath it there are usually the same three.
„Isn’t a five-month-old too young?” From an anatomical standpoint — no. Control over the sphincters matures gradually from birth, and an infant already gives signals preceding elimination from the first weeks: a moment of tension, a change in breathing, a characteristic grimace. Early potty training at this age isn’t about the child „asking to use the potty on their own” — it’s about the adult learning to read the signal and respond, before the habit of reaching for the diaper for everything becomes fully set. It reverses the usual order: we don’t wait for the child to be „ready” in some declarative sense, we accompany them from the start.
„Is there a trial period or gradual adjustment?” Yes, and this is essential — nothing here happens overnight. The first weeks are pure observation: the adult learns to recognize this particular child’s signals, because every infant communicates a physiological need somewhat differently. Only once those signals become legible does the potty appear — first as an offer during calm moments of the day, not as a fixed part of the routine. Weaning off the diaper is equally gradual: first short windows at home, then longer ones, and finally outings and sleep. A step backward when the child goes through a difficult stretch (teething, illness, a change in the family) is part of the process, not a failure of it.
„Doesn’t independence at this age mean less care for the child?” This is probably the fear we hear most often — and the most understandable one. Early potty training is sometimes framed as a kind of accelerated independence course, which can sound like neglect. In practice it’s the exact opposite: to notice the signal of a five-month-old infant, the adult has to be closer, not further away. It’s a method that demands more attentiveness in the early months, not less — only later, once the child begins signalling the need and walking to the potty on their own, can the adult’s attention relax somewhat.
Practical Life — why this is not „training”
In Montessori pedagogy, care for one’s own body — washing hands, getting dressed, eating with utensils, and also using the toilet — belongs to the area called practical life. Practical Life is not an add-on to „real” learning; it’s the foundation on which concentration, order, and a sense of agency are later built. A child who, from infancy, gets the chance to take part in recognizing their own physiological needs practices exactly the same competence as an older preschooler pouring their own glass of water: awareness of their own body and its effect on the environment.
That’s why, in this framing, early potty training isn’t a „skill to be taught” in the school sense — there’s no exam here, no reward for success, no punishment for an accident. It’s part of the broader work on independence that Montessori pursues consistently from the first months of life through the preschool years. We write more about how the same principle looks in older age groups in our article on independence in the Montessori method.
What this looks like day by day in the first year
The first stage is pure observation, with no change to the routine at all — it usually takes from a few days to a few weeks, depending on how quickly the adult starts recognizing this particular child’s pattern. Writing down the moments of elimination (roughly the hour, the context: after a meal, after waking up, during play) helps reveal a regularity that, in infants, turns out to be surprisingly consistent.
Once the pattern becomes legible, the potty appears — kept nearby, so the adult can respond within seconds of noticing the signal. This isn’t forceful sitting or „every two hours as a trial run”: it’s responding to a specific moment. For an infant who can’t yet sit independently, the adult holds the body in a stable position, back straight, feet supported — the position itself helps relax the pelvic floor muscles, exactly as it does for an adult.
Around the ninth or tenth month, once the child is crawling and starting to grasp simple cause and effect, the potty can become a fixed point at several moments of the day — after waking, before bath time, after a meal. This doesn’t eliminate the diaper overnight. The diaper stays as a backup for walks and sleep for a good while longer — sometimes months — and that’s normal, not a failure of the process. Giving up the daytime diaper usually comes many months before giving up the nighttime one, because night-time control depends on the maturity of the nervous system to a far greater degree than daytime control does.
What we avoid — common mistakes that slow the process down
We see a handful of things repeatedly when talking with parents who tried earlier and felt „it didn’t work.” None of them is a judgment of the parent — it’s more of a list of patterns worth recognizing in yourself before they set in.
Sitting the child „just in case,” instead of in response to a signal. A potty visit every two hours, regardless of whether the child is communicating anything, teaches the child to wait for the adult’s cue rather than to recognize their own body. It reverses the whole point of the process.
Praise or disappointment at every attempt. An enthusiastic reaction to success and visible disappointment at an accident both build pressure where there was meant to be none. The child starts responding to the adult’s mood instead of to their own body’s signal — which is exactly the opposite direction from what practical life is about.
Comparing with another child. Pace varies enormously from one child to another — one child may achieve daytime control before their first birthday, another many months later, and both fall within the normal range. Comparisons with a neighbour’s child, an older sibling, or a friend’s toddler rarely help, and often add pressure that slows things down rather than speeding them up.
Giving up after the first setback. Teething, a cold, a change of caregiver, a move — any of these can temporarily set the process back. That’s not a sign it „didn’t work” and that you have to start from zero six months later. It’s a signal to slow down for a while and return to observation before resuming regular sitting.
Treating the process as a race against other families. Early potty training is sometimes described online as something to boast about — „our child was ready by nine months.” That shifts the focus from the child to the outcome, and the outcome was never the point. The only reference point is this particular child’s pace, not the pace of another family described online.
None of these five mistakes disqualifies a parent or means starting over with a sense of guilt. It’s more of a list of things that are easy to recognize in hindsight — and recognizing them is usually enough to slow down next time and return to plain observation.
Do you need to hurry — and what if you’re starting later
Nothing in this approach is a gate you need to make it through in a specific week of a child’s life. If you’re reading this with a one- or two-year-old at home, still in diapers, observation and gradually introducing the potty work exactly the same way — the process simply starts at whatever developmental stage you’re at, rather than from zero in infancy. The main difference is that an older child can already communicate the need in words or gestures, which in a way makes reading the signal easier — you no longer have to read it purely from body language. A practical plan for an older child — readiness signs, steps, accidents and nights — is set out in our step-by-step potty training guide.
The same goes for a situation where a first attempt didn’t work out and the diaper came back for a while. There’s no lost window here, no opportunity that closed. Observation and responding to the signal are available at any point in a child’s development — only the starting point differs, along with how much earlier experience the child brings to this particular attempt.
What this means at the nursery and preschool
In the nursery group, the same principle — observation, responding to the signal, no pressure — translates into concrete elements of the daily schedule: fixed moments at the changing table paired with a short potty offer, consistent communication between parent and Montessori teacher about where a particular child is in the process, and no competition among children in the mixed-age group. We describe the full rhythm of a day in a Montessori nursery, including the moments set aside for practical life, in our article on the Montessori nursery daily schedule.
The same thread — that a child develops at their own pace, and the adult’s role is to observe and accompany rather than force things along — comes back at other stages of the first six years of life too. We write about it in more depth in our article on the sensitive periods of the first six years of life, where control over elimination is one of several sensitive periods, alongside speech, movement, and order. Parents who want to bring the same principle of observation and accompaniment to other areas of independence at home will find practical examples in Montessori exercises at home.
At MOC Montessori, the nursery and preschool run under one roof: the same Montessori method, the same staff, one mixed-age group, and full educational continuity between stages. That’s why the principle of observation and responding to the signal, described above, doesn’t end when a child moves from the nursery to the preschool room — it stays with them the whole way through.
What to prepare before you start observing
You don’t need any special equipment to begin — the first stage is purely about attentiveness, not shopping. A few things do genuinely make the start easier if you want to try this at home.
A potty within the child’s reach, not tucked away in a cupboard. Once a child starts crawling and moving around independently, having a potty available in the bathroom or wherever the child spends the most time shortens the distance between signal and response. It’s the same principle behind the Montessori prepared environment: the object the child is meant to use is within reach, not at adult height.
A simple note, not an app. A few words in a notebook or on your phone — the time, the context, the child’s reaction — is enough to see a pattern after a week. You don’t need minute-by-minute precision; the point is to notice the regularity, not to measure it exactly.
Clothes that come off easily. Elastic waistbands, simple ties, clothes without complicated fastenings — a small detail, but one that genuinely shortens the time between signal and reaching the potty, especially for an older infant who is already trying to undress themselves.
Calm about the pace. This is the most important part of the preparation, and the only one that can’t be bought. Children pick up on adult tension well before they start understanding words — and tension around the topic of physiology is one of the fastest ways to slow the whole process down instead of speeding it up.
FAQ — parents’ most common questions about early potty training
Isn’t a 5-month-old too young for early potty training? Not in an anatomical sense — an infant gives signals preceding elimination from the first weeks of life. At this age, the process isn’t about the child „asking to use the potty on their own”; it’s about the adult learning to recognize the child’s individual pattern and respond to the signal before the habit of relying solely on the diaper sets in.
Is there a trial period or a gradual adjustment, or do you have to start at full scale right away? Yes — the process always begins with a few weeks of pure observation, with no change to the routine at all. The potty appears only once a given child’s pattern becomes legible, and weaning off the diaper happens gradually: first short windows at home, then longer ones, and finally outings and nighttime sleep.
Does early potty training mean less care for an infant, since independence is expected of them? The opposite — it demands more attentiveness from the adult, not less. Noticing a five-month-old’s subtle signal requires being close and observing carefully. It’s work the adult does in the early months; only over time does the responsibility gradually shift toward the child.
Can a child regress during the process, and what should you do then? Yes, that’s a normal part of the process, not a failure. Teething, illness, a change of caregiver, or a move can temporarily stall progress. In that case it helps to slow down, return to plain observation for a while, and not treat the setback as a sign you have to start from zero.
How long does the whole early potty training process take? It varies a great deal, because the pace is individual. Daytime control often emerges gradually between the first and second year of life, and nighttime control usually much later, since it depends on the maturity of the nervous system far more than daytime control does — that’s normal and not a cause for concern. Patient observation throughout is more important than any single deadline.
Read the full article
The full text by Katarzyna Lis — including the section on the physiology of the disposable diaper, on the habit of eliminating „into plastic,” on the „too early” myth and on the economics of the diaper market — is available on Dzieckologia.pl:
→ The diaper is an invention, not a developmental stage. Why potty training should start much earlier
Dzieckologia.pl — a parenting education project where Katarzyna Lis regularly publishes texts from the perspective of a Montessori teacher.